Posts Tagged "sleep"

Are you ready to sleep-train your baby?

Posted by on Apr 21, 2016

Any way you do it, sleep-training your baby is going to be a lot of work. It’s going to involve some crying, and less sleep for a while. It’s going to require that you be clear, and sure, and consistent. Here is a quiz to help you decide if you are ready. Yes No ❑ ❑ Is your baby over 6 months old? ❑ ❑ Are you (or your partner or both) suffering from depression? ❑ ❑ Are you (or your partner or both) suffering from extreme sleep deprivation? ❑ ❑ Have you (or your partner or both) become angry or frustrated when dealing with your baby at night? ❑ ❑ Does you baby wake more than 4 times between 7pm and 5am? ❑ ❑ Does your baby take more than 10-15 minutes to fall asleep after waking at night? ❑ ❑ Do you have a separate room and crib for your baby to sleep in? ❑ ❑ Do you have a partner or another adult to help and support you through sleep training? ❑ ❑ Are you prepared to get LESS sleep for a week or so while you implement a sleep plan? ❑ ❑ Are you prepared to be VERY consistent about bedtimes and routines for the next six weeks or so? If you answer yes to 6 or more of theses questions, it may be a good time for you to start sleep-training your baby. Even if you answer yes to ALL the questions, it does not mean that you SHOULD sleep-train your baby. Sleep training is only one way to help parents get more sleep (see my post on how to get more sleep this week). Sleep training is only one way to help babies develop culturally-appropriate sleep patterns. All babies do not need sleep training! Do not feel pressured to sleep train because… … Someone told you their baby slept through the night at this age. … Your friend’s baby sleeps longer than your baby does. … Your baby takes short naps … Your baby is 6 months old. … You don’t want to develop bad habits … You feel that your baby should be on a schedule … You are worried about how your baby is going to sleep when you go back to work four months from now (that’s a long time from...

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Grunting Babies

Posted by on Jun 22, 2015

Why do babies grunt at night? Well, let’s eliminate the serious reasons first. 1. Baby might not be getting enough air. This is not very common. It can happen to a very new baby or to a baby who has a cold or croup. In this case the grunting would go along with a blue colour in the skin, pauses in breathing, flaring of the nostrils, the chest muscles drawing in sharply with the breath. If your baby shows these symptoms, please call 911 or go to Emergency. 2. Reflux. Some babies have immature sphincters at the top of their stomach and acid from the stomach can pass back into the throat and cause burning pain. Try propping the head of your baby’s crib or bassinet up a little, and/or hold baby upright for awhile after feeds. Babies with reflux are pretty miserable. Please make an appointment with your doctor to diagnose the reflux and prescribe treatment. 3. Baby’s gut is moving. This is the most common cause of grunting. Almost every parent in our Baby Group reports that their baby grunts, especially in the very early morning (4-6am). Babies (and the rest of us) sleep more lightly in the early morning and as their bodies get ready for daytime activity, their gut starts to move and they notice it and start to grunt and squirm and raise and lower their legs (some babies slap their legs down on to the mattress) and fart.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that your baby has “too much gas” or is “colicky” or that you should change your diet or give pro-biotics. This is part of how some babies behave. Parents notice that these babies are not unhappy. They are not crying. They do not seem to be in pain. They are just making noises and being restless. They may be awake, or their eyes may be closed.  If the parent picks the baby up and holds the baby on the parent’s chest, the baby often falls into a deep, quiet sleep. This is because it is easier for a baby to fall into deep sleep on top of another human. If this allows you to get another hour or two of sleep, there is no harm in it. It won’t “set up bad habits.” The early-morning grunting usually stops around 3-4 months. You can change your early-morning habits then. Is it okay to ignore a baby who is grunting, but not unhappy? Yes! Parents of second or third or fourth babies learn that babies grunt and it doesn’t always mean they need us. Parent of first babies are  a little more anxious and are tuned in to every squeak and rustle. I don’t think this helps the parents or the babies. If you leave your content (not unhappy, not crying or whining) little grunting baby alone, you may be providing the baby with an opportunity to learn how to go back to sleep without help from you. Also, if you stay lying down, and train your...

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How to get more sleep for mothers – Part 1

Posted by on May 19, 2014

Sleep. Once the baby has been born and feeding is going well, sleep becomes the primary issue for new parents. It’s understandable. Sleep is one of our basic needs. If we don’t sleep enough, we can’t function. New parents who are woken many time every night to feed and comfort a baby quickly become exhausted and that exhaustion contributes to post-partum depression and anxiety. And mothers, usually (but not always) the primary parent, believe that the only way they can get more sleep themselves, is to fix their baby’s sleep. They believe that if they are sleep-deprived it’s their own fault because they have given their baby “bad habits.” Perhaps they have nursed their babies to sleep, or rocked them to sleep, or held them while they slept, or, horror of horrors, taken their babies to bed with them! (I’ll talk another time about why the above “bad habits” are perfectly good strategies for caring for a small baby. But for now, let’s explore the issue of getting more sleep for mothers.) It takes a long time to “fix” baby sleep patterns. Many babies do not sleep long stretches until they are 6 months or a year. Some don’t sleep well until they are two or three years old. Some parents make the choice to sleep train, but even that does not always work and is not recommended for at least three to six months. And many parents feel that sleep training is too harsh for their children. So what is to be done? Sleep experts recommend setting up good sleep habits and bed-time rituals. Attachment parenting proponents recommend co-sleeping and bed-sharing. All of these can work. But they take time, and desperate parents wonder “When will my baby sleep?” The answer is, no one knows. Maybe the answer is, when you have babies and small children, you just can’t sleep the way you expected to until now. You are just not going to get 7-8 hours of undisturbed sleep every night. So how are you, as a family, going to manage this problem? Because this is a problem for the whole family. It’s not just the mother’s problem. Very often, the mothers who come to my baby groups tell me that they can’t ask their partner to share in the night-time parenting because “He has to work in the morning.” It makes me wonder what the mother does all day – is that not work too? Yes, she can sleep in a bit or take a nap during the day, but that doesn’t get her a long stretch of sleep. Sometimes, the lack of sleep for mom is blamed on the fact that she breastfeeds. I sometimes think, in my more grumpy moods, that breastfeeding is a great excuse for fathers or other parents to abdicate. “All the baby wants is the breast. I can’t feed the baby so I can’t comfort him. I can’t do anything for him at night, so I may as well sleep.” Really?...

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